We're one week into 2012, and before I have to start focusing & commenting on the playoffs I want to write a few reflective statements about the regular season. I've learned a lot in the past 4 months and forgotten almost half of it. But there are some greater "themes" that have stuck with me.
1. Football fans are forgiving.
I'm not talking about forgiving bad plays. I'm saying we forgive gross character flaws and then label it a comeback story. A football player can be accused of raping someone, shoot themselves & go to prison, host dogfights at their home, and kick another player while he's down (see Roethlisberger, Burress, Vick & Suh) and still be cheered on every weekend. The only thing that is a real no-no is killing your baby mama & touching kids.
2. Bad ass hair=bad ass football.
Brett Keisel, I want to run my fingers through your tangled red beard. Troy Polamalu, I want to braid your flowing locks. I think Samoans might actually have magic powers in their hair. Dreadlocks look cool but don't necessarily translate to amazing skills. And guys who look like they could work at Medievel Times as a side job tend to play pretty well. Travis Laboy has a sweet mullet & got 38 tackles this year. My Toxic Twins (Packers' AJ Hawk & Clay Matthews) are some formidable ginger kids with hair straight out of 1994.
3. Professional sports writers write very complicated articles.
I want to understand the language that you're speaking but I just can't. I think I actually experience psychological blindness and vertigo about halfway through any sports article my man sends me. The exception, of course, is Jason Whitlock from Fox Sports. That fat bastard is hilarious.
4. The blitz is no joke.
I'm still confused. I may never understand the zone blitz or any other blitz despite my half-assed research. But Holly Robinson-Peete, who wrote Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game, assured me that it's alright if I don't know all the plays as that's the business of the professionals. And I owe an apology to Michael Vick. I judged him harshly earlier in the season about his lack of blitz knowledge. It's OK big guy, you'll get it in 2012.
I was really hoping to round out this list with a #5, but it's the 4th quarter in the Lions-Saints game and I need to pay attention. Oh, wait, I just thought of a good one!
5. Football takes stamina.
Watching all the games each weekend takes commitment and concentration. Two things, as a blonde, that I lack. Just kidding. I'm a genius, biatch! I must confess that I was really going strong the first half of the season and watched 90% of the Sunday games. Come Monday I was exhausted. Mix in the holidays and it was just impossible. Plus they added all those Thursday night games. I'm sure you've noticed a correlation with my blog posts tapering off. But it's a New Year and the Superbowl is coming so who knows what will happen.
