Damn you Harbaugh family!

Well both of my teams were bested by the Harbaugh brothers this week. The Steelers lost to the Ravens on Sunday and I'm watching the Bears get their ass handed to them by the 49ers as I type. Booo! I'm going to blame it all on key players being out with injuries; namely the QBs of both teams.
But with the coming Thanksgiving holiday it's a good time to reflect on family and to mention some of the Harbaugh brothers' accomplishments. For example, Jim Harbaugh actually played for the Chicago Bears as QB from 1987-1993, some of my most formative years (mostly spent ignoring football). John Harbaugh has always been a coach after playing for Miami University as a defensive back. The Ravens are the biggest rival of the Steelers, and John has been their head coach since 2008. It's a close rivalry, with the game count at 6-5 Steelers since Harbaugh has been coach. Finally, according to Wikipedia, the Harbaughs were the first set of brothers to be head coaches in the NFL.

Jim Harbaugh & Coach Ditka

This should also serve as a small lesson in genetics, as with the amount of siblings in the various ranks of the NFL it's clear that there is some general athletic awesomeness that is passed down through mom & dad. According the the Pro Football Hall of Fame there have been 348 documented pairs of brothers playing in the NFL. I wonder if my recessive genes are hiding some untapped natural athletic talent? Judging from my adult kickball league stats it's unlikely, but I should probably have an NFL player's baby just to make sure.



Happy Halloween!

Today marks a day where everyone can get dressed up and let their creativity (or inner slut) shine through! The Steelers broke out their Halloween costumes a little early on Sunday with their 1934 throwback uniforms. No matter what your pose, it's difficult to look "hardcore" while effectively looking like a bumble bee. As my man pointed out, Pittsburgh is a notoriously un-fashionable city and even hit #3 on the GQ list of worst-dressed cities back in 2011; so these uniforms should really be no surprise. But bad fashion doesn't equal bad football, and the Steelers kicked the Redskins' butt 27-12 in week 8.

Last post I commented on the Seattle Seahawks' new jerseys and I've noticed that lots of teams are wearing "throwback uniforms" each year, so it piqued my interest in the trend of retro uniforms in the NFL. To Wikipedia! It turns out the throwback uniforms started with Major League Baseball and got picked up by the NFL in 1991 in special retail collections. NFL teams started wearing replicas of past uniforms in 1994 to mark the 75th anniversary of the organization. Even back in 1994, the Steelers clearly had the ugliest throwback jersey of them all. It's time for the Rooneys to hire a stylist.

 

Why I like the Seahawks

Apologies for the lack of posts. I know you have all been holding your breath for my comments about the last 3 weeks' games and that whole replacement ref fiasco. In all honesty, The Fan killed me. (I would post a photo of me passed out in my Steelers shirt on the couch but my man vetoed it. Party pooper.)
I'm still in recovery mode but managed to pay attention to the second half of the Seahawks vs. 49ers game tonight. You know what? I like the Seahawks. I don't care if one of their wins was the result of a controversial call by the replacement refs in the last seconds of the game against the Packers all those weeks ago. I liked that call. It was an awesome pass and it got the people going. And people can blame those replacement refs all they want, but what about the non-replacement officials in the booth who supported the call after reviewing it on tape and then all the other "official" NFL people who continued to support the call and let the win stand days later? I personally thank them for making that call because it helped me beat my man in the weekly Pro Pick 'Em pool at work and I'm not giving my $40 back. Hands off my mani-pedi money!
I like the Seahawks for others reasons too. Their head coach, Pete Carroll, was the head coach at USC when I was there and he's a total silver fox. Seattle is a great city (from July-September when the sun is shining). Marshawn Lynch is a pretty bad ass running back. And I love their new uniforms. A little pop of neon is very "in" this year.

The Fan Comes to Town

I'm sitting in my living room watching the 49ers vs. Vikings game on this beautiful Sunday morning and i've already spent 3.5 hours dedicated to the NFL today and another 8-10 hours with the college games yesterday. I'm exhausted! (mentally that is, physically I can still jog/walk a mile in about 13 minutes)
The reason for these marathon sessions? My man's dad (hereafter to be referred to as "The Fan") is in town and this guy is is a football savant. He knows both college and NFL players like personal friends and can match them to their team in about 2.2 seconds. He might not be able to make it through the combine but he does have the stamina to devote upwards of 15 hours each weekend to watching football. And he's not alone. According to an Adweek/Harris poll in September 2011, 64% of Americans are watching NFL football on any given weekend (73% men & 55% women). The Fan probably falls in the 7% of NFL watchers who spend between 11 and 15 hours watching the game; plus he's in the Northeast region, which is home to the most football-watchers in our great nation. And this isn't even counting the college games he's taking in.
Now The Fan is a quiet guy (and an account). He's not ostentaious with his Steeler pride, he doesn't heckle the opposing team's fans, he's friendly to the person he sits next to at the stadium. Shit, I don't even think he swears! But he's a force to be reckoned with and I hope that one day I can have his football recall. In the meantime, I need to guzzle a cup of coffee and splash some cold water on my face just so I can keep up.

Same-Sex Marriage & the NFL...a surprise union

I was just as shocked to hear a piece on the radio today about NFL players openly supporting gay marriage as I was to hear about the secret weekend wedding of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. Now this blog is in no way an outlet to express my political views, but the story of Baltimore Ravens' Brendon Ayanbadejo openly supporting same-sex marriage and the subsequent attempt by Maryland's congressman Emmett C. Burns Jr. to get him to shut up about it by sending a letter to the Ravens' owner was too big (and awesome) to ignore. What was even more awesome was the total reaming that Minnesota Viking's Chris Kluwe delivered to Mr. Burns Jr. via an open letter posted on Deadspin. Luckily, I am not held to the same high standard as journalists so I will link to the colorful language-filled letter here.  Seeing this old team photo of Kluwe, a punter for the Vikings, I really didn't think he had it in him to call someone a "narcissistic fromunda stain" or that he would tell a congressman to "shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it".

(I guess his current team photo looks a little more menacing, but barely) But good on him to make an emotionally-charged, yet succinct and relevant response to a politician. I think more NFL players should make political statements, regardless of who or what they're supporting. It's much more entertaining and real than Angelina Jolie's or George Clooney's weepy pleas for humanitarian aid. Now we just need to get the rest of the world to listen to what these hotties in tight pants have to say.

Kick Off to 2012

What better way to start the season than get back to the basics. I was surprised to see on Hard Knocks last week that Miami's starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill was confused about which conference his own team played in.

Perhaps it's ambitious to think that he should know all the NFL teams as a first round draft pick, but he should at least know that the organization paying his salary is in the AFC East. But before I throw stones it might be a good idea to provide the full rundown of the American Football Conference and the National Football Conference for the common man & woman (myself included, although I'm more of an exceptional woman).
Compliments of Holly Robinson Peete's tome Get Your Own Damn Beer I'm Watching the Game: A Woman's Guide to Loving Pro Football:

AFC East: Buffalo Bills, Miami Dolphins (that's you Tannehill), New England Patriots & NY Jets
AFC North: Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns & Pittsburgh Steelers
AFC South: Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars & Tennessee Titans
AFC West: Denver Broncos, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers
NFC East: Dallas Cowboys, NY Giants, Philadelphia Eagles & Washington Redskins
NFC North: Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers & Minnesota Vikings
NFC South: Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers, New Orleans Saints & Tamp Bay Buccaneers
NFC West: Arizona Cardinals, St. Louis Rams, San Francisco 49ers & Seattle Seahawks

As a casual football enthusiast (or someone attempting to have sex with a football fan) it's not necessary to memorize the entire list above, but you should be able to at least name the conference that your favorite team is a part of and the other 3 teams in their conference. You may also score bonus points if you can name all 32 NFL teams. Another important fact to remember is that each year, the AFC Champion & NFC Champion play each other in the Superbowl. We will never see a Superbowl where the Steelers and the Ravens play each other no matter how awesome it would be.
Whew, that took an inordinate amount of brain power! If you want more information I would suggest you check out the Wikipedia for the full breakdown and some more in depth history (like the AFC didn't even exist until 1970 because there was a whole separate football league called the American Football League). Now I must rest up for the Steeler's game on Sunday.

Let's get this party started!

I'm baaaack! I know you've missed me desperately, haven't read a word since my last post in February, and have entered a deep, Terrell Owens-like depression. Well start practicing those phonics and watching Sports Center because the NFL season is beginning!
Right now they're showing the pre-season games and I should probably be watching them and making predictions about the 2012 season. But what really has me excited this pre-season is Hard Knocks Miami on HBO. I love reality TV! And I love that this show gives me an inside look at what happens at training camp and the hard work these players put into learning the playbook. I am now motivated to get back in the game & be a dedicated player! (minus running with a weighted sled or going on some sort of diet)
What's a girl to do first? Time to set some 2012 season goals of my own.

1. Join Twitter and become close, personal followers of football players, media people and other NFL types.
This goal has already been accomplished. Follow me at @TD_Queen. I thought it was fairly obvious the "TD" stood for "touchdown" but my first few followers appear to be in the amateur porn game so I'm not sure if it means something else. At first I got excited and thought they were NFL cheerleaders, but then their websites featured words like "adult-bj-pics" and "my-sex-vids". I'll take what I can get for now but you should follow me too.

2. Stay focused.
I'm sure you all noticed that I was going strong in September last year and then didn't even mention the Superbowl. I need to pace myself and want to average 1 post per week. I also need to start narrowing my focus. I don't have the time or talent to narrate each game, but I do want to highlight big plays and provide some history/practical information about players, teams & the game. All with my signature charm & wit (so of course I must keep drinking beer). I will still be highlighting NFL-related gifts that I hope to receive as it gets closer to the holidays.

3. Jazz up this bitch!
I'm talking photos, links, videos, Top 10 lists...the whole kit & caboodle. I want this blog to look like NFL Vegas, baby! I need to take this blog to the next level! Especially if amateur porn stars are following me. I can't disappoint them or my parents. Now to briefly return back to the original disclaimers from 2011..."jazzing up this bitch" still does not include the correct use of grammar or punctuation. Be patient; it may take me a while to get this going as I am technologically impaired. I was impressed with my ability to change the font and add color last year.

That's it for now. I don't want to give you too much in the first post. Plus my other NFL goals are more personal...like braid Troy Polamalu's hair and have Clay Matthews sign my boob. We're Twitter friends so it's not weird.

Let the Super Bowl Countdown Begin!

I know, I've been a very lazy blogger. Apologies to the 3 people who read this and have been left hanging for the last month. BUT, the Super Bowl weekend is upon us and it's time to get writing.

There's really not too much for me to report about the playoffs; they're over! The biggest playoff action took place in our apartment when the Steelers lost to the Denver Broncos in overtime and my man temporarily lost his shit. Let's just say that our wall has a new hole and my man has a new cell phone. Our household did not like getting Tebow'd.

I just got an article on Deadspin that detailed all the camera prep work that NBC does prior to the big game. They actually have the teams' playbooks and have high school players run them in order to set up the cameras. Can I ask them for betting tips?
The best part of this article was that it led me to an even better article. According to this survey, women would prefer to have sex with Eli Manning over Tom Brady.  I don't want to have sex with either of them quite frankly. I want to make sweet love to Hines Ward or Troy Polamalu (after I get married to one of them of course).
Another fun article has the video game Madden 12 picking the Giants as the winner on Sunday. Proving once again that computers will one day take over the world, Madden has successfully picked Super Bowl winners in 6 out of 8 games.

Whew! Writing a blog post by almost entirely referencing professionally written online articles is so easy. I should have been doing this since the pre-season.

New Years Reflection

We're one week into 2012, and before I have to start focusing & commenting on the playoffs I want to write a few reflective statements about the regular season. I've learned a lot in the past 4 months and forgotten almost half of it. But there are some greater "themes" that have stuck with me.

1. Football fans are forgiving.
I'm not talking about forgiving bad plays. I'm saying we forgive gross character flaws and then label it a comeback story. A football  player can be accused of raping someone, shoot themselves & go to prison, host dogfights at their home, and kick another player while he's down (see Roethlisberger, Burress, Vick & Suh) and still be cheered on every weekend. The only thing that is a real no-no is killing your baby mama & touching kids.

2. Bad ass hair=bad ass football.
Brett Keisel, I want to run my fingers through your tangled red beard. Troy Polamalu, I want to braid your flowing locks. I think Samoans might actually have magic powers in their hair. Dreadlocks look cool but don't necessarily translate to amazing skills. And guys who look like they could work at Medievel Times as a side job tend to play pretty well. Travis Laboy has a sweet mullet & got 38 tackles this year. My Toxic Twins (Packers' AJ Hawk & Clay Matthews) are some formidable ginger kids with hair straight out of 1994.

3. Professional sports writers write very complicated articles.
I want to understand the language that you're speaking but I just can't. I think I actually experience psychological blindness and vertigo about halfway through any sports article my man sends me. The exception, of course, is Jason Whitlock from Fox Sports. That fat bastard is hilarious.

4. The blitz is no joke.
I'm still confused. I may never understand the zone blitz or any other blitz despite my half-assed research. But Holly Robinson-Peete, who wrote Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game, assured me that it's alright if I don't know all the plays as that's the business of the professionals. And I owe an apology to Michael Vick. I judged him harshly earlier in the season about his lack of blitz knowledge. It's OK big guy, you'll get it in 2012.

I was really hoping to round out this list with a #5, but it's the 4th quarter in the Lions-Saints game and I need to pay attention. Oh, wait, I just thought of a good one!

5. Football takes stamina.
Watching all the games each weekend takes commitment and concentration. Two things, as a blonde, that I lack. Just kidding. I'm a genius, biatch! I must confess that I was really going strong the first half of the season and watched 90% of the Sunday games. Come Monday I was exhausted. Mix in the holidays and it was just impossible. Plus they added all those Thursday night games. I'm sure you've noticed a correlation with my blog posts tapering off. But it's a New Year and the Superbowl is coming so who knows what will happen.